I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
