I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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