Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
