Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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