I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
