I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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