Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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