Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We're facebook friends in real life
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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