I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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