I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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