So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i came on her dog
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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