thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Holy shit dude........stairs
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
