We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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