i came on her dog
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
