Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
