You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
