I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
