Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
