evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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