hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
