Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
