the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
