yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
