what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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