i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
