do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
