Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Randomize
