so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
