You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
