Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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