if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
