Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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