Christians are straight up FREAKS
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
