i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm too high and old for this...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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