He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
