Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
