We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
