i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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