what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
