That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
