I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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