Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
