totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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