As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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