May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think I am morally bankrupt
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
