no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
is that a dick in a sweater?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
