you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
