I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize