he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
