we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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